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Mine was lovely, I was invited to a friends house for the feast and yum yum, it was delicious. My husband and the kids baked apple pies, which has become their yearly tradition. (I just had apple pie for breakfast too! ;o) Did you know that at the beginning of the 20th century the average american woman made 10 pies a week?! holy cow!) I made my specialty, which is patrician potatoes- chock full of cottage cheese and sour cream, I LOVE them, unfortunately not everyone shares my passion. But they humor me by letting me bring them to Thanksgiving anyway.
Oh and almost forgot, a funny thing happened on the way to Thanksgiving, or not funny really, more like asinine. I went to Whole Foods to buy some of my husbands favorite beer and during checkout the cashier stopped the belt and looked me up and down and asked. “Are you planning on drinking these?” I laughed and answered, “No, of course not” and then, “why?” and she said, “Because we have a rule against selling alcohol to pregnant women.” Stunned, I mumbled something about it being for the party, and she huffed and let it go down the belt to be bagged. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Okay, first lets ASSUME that if I’m in Whole Foods spending twice what something is usually worth it’s because I’m trying to treat my body well. Let’s assume that. I’m not at the corner liquor store asking for a 40 and a paper bag. And let’s assume that I’m an adult and last I looked it’s legal for me to buy alcohol. And OOOOOOH, that just burned me up. And why in the world should I have to answer to anybody about my purchases? Next they’ll refuse me some Ben and Jerry’s because I’m a bit over ideal weight? Oh, man, that stuck in my craw.
But, back to Thanksgiving, after the dinner we watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles. So funny. Still, after all these years.
Then, we’ve just been kicking back and relaxing ever since, celebrating Buy Nothing Day, by doing exactly that. Hope your holiday was just as wonderful…
xox,
Heather
I think it would be illegal for Whole Foods to have a rule about not selling alcohol to pregnant women. Sounds like that cashier was a busybody.
Pretty please post the recipe for those potatoes. They sound delish to me!
[...] Oh and almost forgot, a funny thing happened on the way to Thanksgiving , or not funny really, more like asinine. I went to Whole Foods to buy some of my husbands favorite beer and during checkout the cashier stopped the belt and looked …[Continue Reading] [...]
I had a lady yell at me outside the liquor store when I was 8 months pregnant, buying vodka and tequila. I just laughed.
that cashier lied. there’s no rule against selling pregnant women alcohol. i bought a 6-pack of beer from whole foods about a week before i had my 2nd, and they didn’t say a word. hell, we all had a good laugh about it!
on the other side of the coin, i went to a bar with some friends a couple months ago, and the bartender nearly refused to serve me because she thought i looked pregnant (which i wasn’t). so because i don’t fit the cosmo ideal of thin and pretty, and have a belly to show for my 2 babies, she ASSumed i was pregnant.
people need to stick to their job descriptions and keep their noses out of other peoples’ business.
that cashier was just passing judgment and pulling the morality card. and people say i’m judgmental!
Other side of the coin… I teach special ed, and you wouldn’t believe what alcohol does to a developing fetus. I’ve taught two kids with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, one with Fetal Alcohol Effect, and several that we THINK had some of it but no one would own up to it. When a pregnant lady drinks, she isn’t just hurting herself. Sasha was eleven, was the size of an eight-year-old, had a head the size of a grapefruit, and couldn’t consistently add two plus two from one day to another. What was worse, she didn’t seem to have a conscience. (This is common among FAS kids.) She’d do something wrong, get yelled at for it, feel bad, and then do the same thing the next day. I shudder to think of what will happen when she graduates school. She will HAVE to live in some sort of supervised-living situation for the rest of her life. (And we will have to pay for it!) Just because her mother couldn’t bear to go nine months without alcohol.
So… I’d rather have a salesperson ask and be laughed at than have another candidate for my classroom. The more “positive peer pressure” people feel to NOT drink while pregnant, the better!
I’m a long time Hathor reader (and now a reader of Mama is) but have never commented before. But I want to say “right on” to all your reactions about your Whole Foods experience. The nuttiness in this country about alcohol and pregnancy is really over the top.
While as Wiffersnapper correctly points out, FAS is a real, serious and preventable cause of mental retardation, it isn’t caused by one drink of alcohol during pregnancy but instead occurs in women who consume the majority of their calories as alcohol while pregnant. Other countries don’t have the strict teetotaling in pregnancy messages that we’ve adopted here and yet aren’t over-run with FAS cases.
A really well done summary of how we got to where we are on the public perception of alcohol and pregnancy is found in the book Message in a Bottle by Janet Golden.
This issue is just part of my pet peeve about the whole culture surrounding pregnancy and all the “rules” that we rely on (including gross over-medicalization) since we’ve lost the real support and community and culture that we need to become Mamas.
I understand that the effects of alcohol during pregnancy is dangerous and can be devistating, but a cashier making up blatant lies about company policy doesn’t make it right either. It’s also rude to assume just because she’s buying it, she’s automatically going to drink it.
Love the latest comic
That’s totally what I felt like when I left the hospital!!
wiffersnapper:
I can see where you’re coming from, but I disagree because a woman who is suffering from alcoholism so severe she can’t quit drinking while pregnant (which everyone already knows is bad for the fetus), isn’t going to stop because of the scorn of random strangers.
As I mentioned above, I frequented the liquor store while heavily pregnant and although I got some raised eyebrows only one woman was silly enough to confront me. You know what they say about assumptions.
Funny, I just renewed my responsible alcohol service and sales test (I work at a bar), and it’s fresh in my memory that it’s against the law to REFUSE service to a pregnant woman. And that’s service, in other words, you know she’s going to drink it. Never mind a six pack or a bottle of wine that could be given to anyone else to drink.
I’ve bought much, much alcohol while pregant (for my husband, or as gifts), and I have to say I’ve kidded about it with different sales people (I live in a small town and know most of the staff at every store), but NEVER have I been accused of drinking it and almost refused the sale. I think my foot would end up someone’s butt if that happened.
Not to mention that studies in the UK have shown no ill effect on the fetus from light drinking–one recent one even showed a positive correlation (although the causation is still a mystery).
The point, though, is a pregnant woman does not become the property of society because she is pregnant an strangers should mind their own business.
Ahhh, Buy Nothing Day! The boys and I spent a large portion of Friday at the local animal rescue. They have finally convinced me that we need a dog. Havent found the perfect one yet, but what a great way to spend Buy Nothing Day!
wow. I’m hoping the cashier was just having a bad day! I used to work at a corner store, and I admit there were time I felt like being a total B**** to a customer just because I could, lol!
I bought a few drinks here and there for my husband while pregnant, though, so I totally feel you! It’s pretty ridiculous.
I’d like to see the evidence that shows harm from light to moderate drinking before I give up my occasional beer or wine while pregnant. AFAIK, the research clearly shows that alcoholism and alcohol abuse leads to FAS, but I have not seen anything that says a drink now and then would lead to ill effects. At least, not more than say, that powdered donut I might also have now and then.
And wiffersnapper, all credit to you for being a teacher and providing support and education to kids of all stripes. I have nothing but admiration for those who teach, especially with kids with special needs. I know it can be exhausting and thankless, so I’ll say THANKS in case no one has said that to you today.
warmly,
Krista
I had a occasional drink while pregnant (and while breastfeeding as well), all with the blessing of my doctor. FAS is a terrible thing, but we have become so afraid of it that women consider aborting a wanted baby because they had a drink or two before they found out they were pregnant.
We did spend a little money on buy nothing day, we went out for breakfast at a local, family owned diner. I think it was money well spent!!
“The point, though, is a pregnant woman does not become the property of society because she is pregnant”
Very true, and it is this paternalistic attitude towards pregnant women that has spurred on the movement to make home birth illegal, and allow court-ordered c-sections. As much as we don’t want pregnant women to make bad decisions, it really is their decision to make. Otherwise, who gets to make the decision?
Hi Abigail,
here’s the recipe…http://www.grouprecipes.com/24404/patrician-potatoes.html I think they’re a classic, my mom has been making them since at least the 60s…And thanks for all the comments everybody, I feel a comic coming on…I’ve gotta sick 4 year old though, so I’ve been trapped on the couch while she sleeps on my belly (whilst being kicked in the face by the baby ;o) Heck, the good news is that I’ve been able to unknot the 12 colors of yarn that turned into a nest by the couch….
xox,
Heather
Not only does FAS not show up in women who drink occasionally. FAS hardly ever shows up in women alcoholics who are in middle class and above socio-economic groups. FAS is a combination of alcohol abuse, genetics and POOR NUTRITION.
I drink pregnant. I drink nursing. I made researching alchol my college HONORS neuro-biology paper. I have forgotten more about GABA, dopamine and other NTs than most people will ever learn w/o at least a masters in biochem.
I make educated choices. Like home birth despite being the first in my family in 3 generations not to need a surgical delivery.
I am deeply offended when someone takes 1 bad situation and uses it to retrofit every situation with one of the variables.
By that logic because 1 baby starved to death bc the mother tried to breastfeed – it should be illegal to ever give an infant food except in a bottle where intake can be measured.
I’ve taken care of kids with FAS too. While I’d take a taste of my husband’s wine now and then at a party, I avoided alcohol for the most part. I figured, if a lot is terrible for the baby, maybe a little isn’t exactly GOOD for baby. And I was a bit zealous with my pregnancy. If a woman is OBVIOUSLY pregnant, the baby is pretty well developed by then. (Of course, even after birth it has a long way to go.) If she’s not showing and drinking a lot, then I’d be even more worried. So maybe the cashier should be running pregnancy tests before check-out.
I used to buy beer for my husband while pregnant because I did more of the grocery shopping toward the end of the pregnancy. I DID feel like telling the cashier a couple times, “Just so you know, those aren’t for me.” But I didn’t. And I never even got a “look” for it.
Boy, that Highlight #7.. That would be the last straw for me too! Those last two highlights really make me sad. I can really see why you are a strong home birth advocate.
Saleslady: Overzealous, much? Y’know, after she said they had a “rule” against selling to pg women, you shoulda looked at her, straight-faced, and said “pardon me for interupting your rudeness (and not that it’s any of your business anyways!), but I’m not even pregnant!”
Or somesuch…LOL!
Those potatoes sound delish. Mashies are like manna to me, and sooooo many ways to prepare them! Yum. Now I know what’s for dinner tomorrow night–thanks!
Oh, and just had to share….a friend of mine got a raised eyebrow when buying a 6-pack while obviously pg….she was getting stuff for a party–Superbowl, I think. Anyway, the cashier said “these for you?” as they slid past on the conveyor belt. She gave him a pious look and said, “Of course not!” then she placed a bottle of vodka and a bottle of rum on the conveyor and said “THESE are for me!” :-O LOL!!
Just an idea, in case it were to happen again…
Hey Krista- Thanks for your thanks! I have to admit that, despite her shortcomings, Sasha was one of my favorite students EVER. She could only really focus when she had something called, “deep tissue pressure”, so I used to stand at the board with her in front of me, then teach with one arm wrapped around her shoulders, hugging her against me, and writing with the other. It looked crazy, but she LOVED it!
Can you imagine if you had not been pregnant? She should NOT have assumed that you were, no matter how pregnant you look! How embarrassing would that be if she did it to a woman who was simply overweight!
Plus isn’t most of the danger in the first few months, before you could even tell anyway? I’m sure if they really DO have this policy (as opposed to one stupid salesperson), and denied alcohol to a pregnant woman, you could sue for discrimination.
You should call up that Whole Foods and ask if that is there policy, and if they say no, ask them to speak to their staff about it; if they say yes, point out that that is against the law and they could be sued for discrimination. You could also give a quick call to the regional Whole Foods office, point out the problem, and ask them to speak to the managers there.
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is my family’s Thanksgiving tradition, too!!!
Anyway, I had a tiny sip of alcohol (accidentally: my husband made a rum and Coke and I mistook it for iced tea) when I was about a week pregnant (didn’t know I was pregnant of course, but suspected it), and I got all freaked out. He was sitting right there and I asked him if it was iced tea, he said nothing, so I had a sip and he didn’t stop me (as I said, we didn’t know I was pregnant yet), and I flipped out on him. LOL, of course the baby is fine, that tiny bit of alcohol probably metabolized before it even made it to the baby.
I’ve also talked to women that drank quite heavily before knowing they were pregnant and it had no ill effects on the baby. I also know a grown man who’s mother smoked regularly when she was pregnant with him, and he’s fine. I’m not condoning smoking a pack a day or going to the bar every night getting smashed while pregnant, but as several other women have already said, there have been no proven ill effects from an occasional cigarette or alcoholic beverage while pregnant. It’s also ok to have one or two caffinated beverages while pregnant, and I’ve had several this pregnancy. I was uber-cautious with my first pregnancy about no drinking, smoking, or caffiene. This time, I still have only had that one sip of alcohol when I was a week pregnant, I’ve had no cigarettes (haven’t smoked since March 2004 and I plan on keeping it that way), and only a couple caffinated beverages.
On your comic about the private sphere, I feel you. I was at an event sharing a hotel room with a stranger for economic purposes, and when she found out I was pregnant? Oh, the advice would not stop! I had to actually be rude and go back to my book or walk out when she was midsentence just to get her to shut up! And it was all the silliest kindergarten level advice, too. Like don’t leave your baby alone on a high bed. Seriously. And did you know that breast milk? Will occasionally leak? From your breasts? Apparently, it appeared to her that I didn’t.
RE: Private Sphere: And now you know how fat people feel, every. single. day. But of course, we *deserve* it, because gosh, everyone knows that only lazy and gluttonous people are fat. Meh.
But I guess double F cups look better in comics.
According to the FDA’s website: “Because it’s difficult to determine how much alcohol puts a fetus at risk and at what stages of pregnancy the fetus is affected, it is not known whether drinking any amount of alcohol is safe. The safest course at present, therefore, is for pregnant women to abstain from drinking alcoholic beverages.”
YET they also claim:
“The levels (of melamine) we are detecting are extremely low… (Parents) should not be changing the diet. If they’ve been feeding a particular product, they should continue to feed that product. That’s in the best interest of the baby.”
They aren’t sure how much alcohol is safe, so they take a zero-tolerance approach. They have no freakin clue how much melamine is safe, so they just claim that however much is in our formula already is probably okay.
WTH?