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Hey all,
Over the last few months I’ve had some new circumstances that have caused me to rethink, reformulate and create a comment policy for my blog(s) Mama-is.com and thecowgoddess.com
My blog(s) first existed as a website only to show-off and share free comics for the masses (at least the mama part of them). Over time I hired a webmaster who convinced me that the ease of loading to a blog would be easily adaptable to the comic-a-day that I envisioned (when I ever ever find the time ;o) Later, it became my policy to turn off the comments on the blog post that had a comic in them. This is because the blog is a showcase for my comics and if a high-powered publisher comes to my site for a look-see, I don’t want the comic to have a comment with it that says “You need to go back to art school cowgirl. signed Ted from Arkansas” for perpetuity. So, I make sure that every comic has a word-y post that goes along with it so that all the lovely fans in the world can say, “you my dear cowgirl might want to think about returning to Art School, sincerely, your humble servant, Thomas from Arkansas”. I like it better that way.
So comment rule number one is there aren’t comments on the comics, but comments are open on the word-y posts. Comments are welcome there, post away.
Then recently, I’ve had some websites that have nothing to do with parenting at all direct themselves to my site. This has been fabulous, because it increased my traffic (advertising moolah!) But it also led to a bunch of comments whose only purpose was to try and piss me off. Comments that name-called, comments that were just stupid, and even a few death threats. So I decided that if you are not a parent (or seriously considering becoming a parent ;o) and you have no interest in parenting issues at all, then you don’t get to comment here. So there. Ask me how I know, I can just tell. If you think I’ve deleted your comments in error, email me.
So, comment rule number twothecowgoddess.com and mama-is.com are blogs for the use of parents and people genuinely interested in the issues of parenting. Especially mothering.
Finally, there are some who seem to think that these are blogs for debate. They aren’t. Let’s just call them vanity blogs, or better yet, opinion blogs. These are my comics and my opinions and my memories and thoughts and musings and artworks and family mementos. The Hathor manifesto includes these 6 items:
1. Homebirth
2. Breastfeed
3. Constant contact
4. Share Sleep and Space
5. Unschool
6. Save the World
Mama hasn’t written a manifesto (yet!) but it would definitely contain these things. Let’s agree that if you are here leaving comments on my blog(s) that you at least agree in part with some if not all of these. They are not open for debate here. I don’t mind if a mama disagrees with one of my comics (Heck, they aren’t all perfect, even I know that ;o) disagree all you want, I love to hear from you. And frankly I could use the input. But if you’re coming here just to debate me and the other mamas that comment here, your comments will be deleted.
This was a difficult decision to come to, as I’m a believer in free speech. But I was reminded by a friend (a libertarian friend at that) that I pay for this blog and it belongs to me, I don’t have to provide a forum for opposing viewpoints if I don’t want to. And when I was still on the fence about it I began receiving some private emails from mothers who are upset that a blog devoted to humor and the positive side of attachment parenting is devolving into a place where the very value of the principles of attachment parenting is being called into question. No one wants to defend themselves here, we don’t have to, because we’re right. This blog is a place for mothers to get a laugh. period. You disagree with me in principle? Go ahead blog about me all you want on your own blog. Debate somewhere else, perhaps I’ll join you there (but don’t count on it, I’m a pretty busy mother).
So, comment rule number three the blogs thecowgoddess.com and mama-is.com are not debate blogs. Any debate over the principles and merits of homebirth, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, unschooling and other stuff (at my discretion) isn’t welcome.
So, there you have it, rules on my blogs. Now I just need to go feed my kids some ice cream for dinner, and take a cold shower to get over these dictatorial feelings!
And if you’re a fan of the sites please don’t let these rules deter you, have fun posting I LOVE to hear from you!!!
xox,
Heather aka Hathor aka Mama
ps. Contact me at mama at mama-is.com or hathor at thecowgoddess.com if you feel a comment was deleted in error. I make mistakes, I really do.
I love your comment rules, and I appreciate you making this a safe place for people who appreciate the Hathor Manifesto. People who don’t agree with this stuff have lots of other places they can go debate it.
YIPPEE! good for you and well said mama! we’re with you all the way!
i love your comic by the way. it’s just made me laugh out loud to myself, well, chuckle quietly actually so as not to wake the sleeping baby hanging off my left nipple! it cheered me up a treat. and so’s your comment policy. thanks. x
I’m just happy you let us post at all. I’m so addicted to your blog!!!
So now we can post a comment on the posting comments policy. I have to be known to you by now and the “live and let live; let’s all get along” poster, and I say, “YEAH to you!” I’ve been distressed recently by some of the vitriol and nastiness showing up in the comments. I always have thought that your comics were about supporting moms- now, they will be for sure! Thanks!
BTW- You’re right- that Rosin woman is nuts.
LOVE BOMB!!
I love your comics and thoughts and just plain good sense about parenting. No one deserves nastiness or death threats.
Yay! I was fortunate enough not to have seen any of the bad comments. I just don’t understand how people have the time to pass on more negativity! SUCH a time waster! Love you, love your comics!
i love your blog and I’m glad you’re standing up for it.
Thank You. I come here to find sanity in a world that is so not baby-friendly. I’m looking forward to not having to read the stuff that says being a loving, caring mother is “spoiling” or even dangerous. Unfortunatly we get bombarded with that daily
Death threats for Mama?? NO WAY, I say! They probably just got confused and thought they could make hamburgers out of you.
You won’t find me arguing the Manifesto, ever. And I do have to say that I’m glad I can finally comment here since you made the move to Mama. I was never able to sign up to comment on Hathor, it always rejected me or something.
Excellent! Totally love the comment posting rules. Love the comics, the manifesto of Mama and Hathor and everything. Totally agree with Jennifer that we come to this blog to feel good in a baby-friendly mama-friendly home / normal birth and breastfeeding-friendly space (and also to have a laugh at the madness in the rest of the world) and the last thing we want to read is comments from stupid people who are basically well… wrong and who we have to listen to in the rest of our lives. Oh, and just to confirm – of course you are right. I know this because I agree with you and I am always right (just ask my husband)!
Keep up the fabulous work! Your comics remind me that I’m not alone in my parenting beliefs. It’s easy to feel like an alien sometimes in this little town, lol.
Whoo hoo, it’s a good, sensible move! (hey I even grew up in Arkansas, too–does that earn extra street cred?)
signed,
Baby slingin’ no-vaxin’ co-sleepin’, BFing like forever, all-natural, mostly veg, organic & local, frum Jews in China! liora
And that’s why you are the Goddess (Cow or otherwise). Rock-On Mama!!!
xoxoxo
I love your comics! I love the messages you post in your comics so much I have shared them with my friends and family. Yay for you for standing up for what you believe in!
AND may the Hathor Manifesto live on!
you can knows im a mom cause im the “joni jeide” who added you on facebook!
w00t!
(the funny thing is i found thecowgoddess.com before i was ever pregnant because my fursonna “aditi” is a cow goddess and i was doing some “just-for-fun” research on the subject of cow goddesses and your comic popped up and i started reading it as thought to myself “hey, when i have kids this is how i want to be” and the rest is history, lol)
Well, for me to know if you deleted any of my comments in error I’d have to know all of the comments I’ve made, and even those who aren’t memory-challenged like myself probably don’t (unless someone out there is obsessive enough to keep track of all of their comments)!! So if you deleted a comment I made I hereby forgive you – and no one will ever know!
Unless some of my comments were so brilliant that someone somewhere came back to them every day for inspiration and now that daily inspiration is gone forever. 
Seriously, I may have expressed some differing viewpoints at times (like, using baby equipment doesn’t mean we can’t be attached, it’s how we use it) but you know I love you <3
i have loved you for years, ever since i found you in “hipmama” magazine all those years ago! and i agree, this is your space to share what you love and how you live and your thoughts, no reason at all to get death threats or have goobs come and debate what you believe. you have always been an inspiration to me and when i am feeling like i am all over the place i just pick up your books and i feel better.
there isn’t a single comic of yours that didn’t resonate with me, make me think and give me a smile.
thank you
heather in maine
Yay Mama! I’m sad to hear you’ve received so many rude senseless comments. I think it’s true that our blogs are our own property and we don’t have to admit absolutely everyone. I know it would be impractical for you, with so many readers, but I set up my blog so that the first comment from someone must be approved by me before it’s posted.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom and humor with us so often!
I love how you ended this post with plans to have ice cream to get over dictatorial feelings. I know just what you mean!
p.s. I’ve been breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and unschooling for 8 years (the youngest is now 2). I did a lot of babywearing too, but my kids are big and my last one especially wants to be free to roam around exploring the world.
Thank You! This will remain a sane place.
Well I say BRAVO!
Honestly, though, why don’t you just screen all the comments? Then you only have to publish the ones you want published?
Well I say BRAVO!
Honestly, though, why don’t you just screen all the comments? Then you only have to publish the ones you want published?
ETA: Because it’s not about protecting their rights to be jerks. It’s about protecting your right to enjoy your paid-for space the way you see fit.
Right on
Good for you mama. People actually made death threats?! What idiots!
Your comment rules are right on, mama. There are enough debate forums out there. My kids are well past BFing age, and I wasn’t fortunate enough to homebirth or unschool, but I so enjoy and appreciate your perspective.
I totally agree with your posting rules! And, I feel guilty because I have one of those non-related blogs (Chandler, AZ daily photo) that provides a link to your Hathor site – eep! I hope I didn’t unknowingly send the crazies over to you – I’ll take it off if you want me to!
Thanks for making this a safe place. Thanks for helping me on my journey from hospital birth to birthcenter not affliliated with a hospital to my impending homebirth. Thanks for normalizing atttached parenting, normal birth and breastfeeding. In those dark days when I felt like the only one in the world breastfeeding I found your comics and felt the rightness of mothering according to my instincts.
I only own three of your books. Do I have them all? My girls snuck one into their room, and read it like forbidden material. They really seemed deflated when I encouraged them to read more, that it wasn’t forbidden.
You are a shining becon of normal, which helps me resist the consumerist parenting propoganda that I was bombarded with.
me too! i agree completely! so glad you’ve decided to do this! it stinks doing all the dirty work (deleting comments and such). i hope the no-no comments get fewer and fewer and make your job easier!
Thanks for being there for the next generation of mothers and having the wisdom to protect all of us from all the detractors on every street corner and the media that purports to support.
You are a safe haven in the insanity storm.
Oh, by the way, you are a gifted artist and writer. Keep up the good work.
Love your “six” list. Did it all, not enough support, determination paid off. Still working on #6.
Loved Ean’s birth story.