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A recent article in the New Yorker touches on this question, why and how has the breast pump become synonymous with breastfeeding? The numbers of exclusively breastfeeding mothers are dwindling, and new mothers (breastfeeding, yes!) but armed with pumps and armfuls of bottles are heading out into the world of careers and daycare, leaving their liquid gold in a bottle for the nanny or daycare worker to feed to the baby. Because it’s best, we all know it’s true. A friend of mine is seeing the changes at her La Leche League meetings, where the conversation is oftentimes centering on pumping and all the troubles that go with it. New mothers are buying their pumps and pumping while pregnant to ‘get ready’ and pumping right after birth. Because you’re ‘supposed to’. These aren’t mothers that are heading to work in a day or two, these are mothers who are home with their babies, pumping, and worrying that they can’t get enough milk.
How many mothers have gone to the pediatrician, terrified that they aren’t making enough milk, because the pump isn’t drawing the milk, not in quantities that would give you confidence?
And here, in my town, the local La Leche League meetings are growing smaller and smaller, while the local business, the one that sells and rents pumps and offers classes at a fee and lactation counselors at a price, is doing brisk business. It’s all about the pumps it seems.
In an on-line conversation over at Mothering.com’s message boards the question was asked: “If you had to choose one or the other, would you choose to give your baby your breastmilk out of a bottle, or feed your baby formula from your breasts?” Diane Weissenger normalfed.comwho originally posed this question at a LLL conference said that absolutely she would choose to feed formula from her breasts. Oh! the debate raged…What are your thoughts on this interesting question? And lo and behold I hear for the first time that the definitions are changing, as we speak…
The Definition:
breast-feed /ˈbrɛstˌfid/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [brest-feed] Show IPA Pronunciation
verb, -fed, -feed⋅ing.
–verb (used with object) 1. to nurse (a baby) at the breast; suckle.
–verb (used without object) 2. (of a baby) to nurse.
3. to nurse a baby.
The New Definition: “Just because the dictionary.com definition (of breastfeeding) is exclusionary to exclusively pumping moms doesn’t mean everyone is… Lots of people (including some who contribute to kellymom, lactnet, and even mdc) make the distinction the other way around, referring to “direct breastfeeding” or “nursing” to mean actually suckling at the breast. They don’t feel the need to exclude exclusive pumpers…”
And there you have it ‘direct breastfeeding’. Even more words added to describe and define the act that really should just be called ‘feeding’.
I wonder how we got to this place, that nearly everyone agrees that breastfeeding is ‘best’, yet almost nobody does it exclusively? Well, in this article for the New Yorker we see the path that got us here…BABY FOOD; If breast is best, why are women bottling their milk? by Jill Lepore and a particularly salient quote…
Non-bathroom lactation rooms are such a paltry substitute for maternity leave, you might think that the craze for pumps—especially pressing them on poor women while giving tax breaks to big businesses—would be met with skepticism in some quarters. Not so. The National Organization for Women wants more pumps at work: NOW’s president, Kim Gandy, complains that “only one-third of mega-corporations provide a safe and private location for women to pump breast milk for their babies.” (When did “women’s rights” turn into “the right to work”?) The stark difference between employer-sponsored lactation programs and flesh-and-blood family life is difficult to overstate. Pumps put milk into bottles, even though many of breast-feeding’s benefits to the baby, and all of its social and emotional benefits, come not from the liquid itself but from the smiling and cuddling (stuff that people who aren’t breast-feeding can give babies, too). Breast-feeding involves cradling your baby; pumping involves cupping plastic shields on your breasts and watching your nipples squirt milk down a tube. But this truth isn’t just rarely overstated; it’s rarely stated at all…
Read the article, you’ll find it very interesting…
xox,
Heather
ps. another interesting tidbit, the Hathor comic that was the most criticized EVER is this one… Exposed Bottle, it was the first time that I came to terms with the large number of ‘exclusive pumpers’ in the natural mothering community (mothers who I should add, have to work many times harder than I can ever imagine, against great odds to deliver breastmilk to their children).
Sorry, totally off topic but have you seen this article http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28857953 and are you going to address it?
I’m a working mother who used a breast pump. My employer gave me 3 months parental leave. I didn’t start pumping early, I would always prefer to be with my baby, but that wasn’t an option. In my household I am the main bread winner. My partner stays home with the baby. I didn’t go back to work because I wanted to, or that I “wanted it all”. I went back to work because my family needed a roof over our head. So yes, I pumped and I didn’t like it, but would it have been better to give my baby formula?
Well this is what I do… I have major oversupply issues. So I do pump, but my daughter only gets a bottle maybe once a week just in case I need to leave her with someone. The extra milk I pump off is donated to a local foster mom who can’t breastfeed. So far my “liquid gold” has helped out two 2.5lb newborn twin girls, a 2.5 year old boy with the stomach flu, and most recently a one month old baby girl that has major reflux issues when she drinks formula.
While pumping isn’t necessarily my favorite thing to do, I like knowing that something that I make for free can make such a huge difference in another child life.
I also like having the option of being able to go out on a date once in awhile with my husband (as much as I love her).
As far as the debate goes, I would prefer to feed breastmilk from a bottle over formula from my breast because breastmilk was perfectly designed for my baby and formula was not. And I think I can still cuddle and bond with my baby without breastfeeding her just as the foster mom I know does with her kids.
What do you say to women, such as myself, who are the main providers for their family and therefore have to return to work…but they still want to breastfeed or as you would say “breastfeed”. I already feel guilty enough, but I do the best I can and was able to breastfeed my son for 2 years while working full-time and having to pump while at the office.
Hey, mama! I thought of you when our state paper ran the article on our homebirth (outside, in a hurricane!) and midwifery. You can see it and the slideshows (I hope all the links are working…email me if they aren’t) at http://www2.arkansasonline.com/midwife
I’m so excited that a positive view on homebirth was shared with our state and that I was able to iinvite so many to our birth! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
That is a very interesting question! On the one hand, breastmilk from the bottle is going to provide the antibodies and nutrition that is the reason breastmilk is best. On the other hand, nursing at breast also provides its own benefits to mother and baby, and some of those benefits would still be there regardless of whether it was formula or breastmilk coming out of the breasts. I have no problem with mothers returning to work and pumping their milk. I do have a problem with them quitting breastfeeding because they think they have a low supply based on the amount they’re pumping.
Far out. Before I gave birth to my baby boy in october, I was facing a bit of a dilemma – everyone was offering me the use of their breaspumps, bottles, etc, when I planned to exclusively breastfeed. I was definitely given the impression that I would absolutely need to have one, and the thought stressed me out, Surely I was supposed to be able to feed my baby anywhere, and they would regulate my supply by demand?
After asking the question at an Australian Breastfeeding Association meeting (our version of LLL) I was told no, of course you don’t have to have one… and even through cracked nipples, pain and agony while feeding, using nipple shields (a useful temporary tool) etc, I never used one, and never felt I had to. My boy has always set the standard as to how much milk I make and by letting him feed whenever he needs to, he has maintained an awesome supply. Sometimes I’m vaguely curious as to just how much I make, but rather than measure mls and litres, I just look at how fat and healthy and beautiful my boy is. Speaking of which, I better go and gently wake him up for a feed soon – I’m busting out all over!!!
Yes – I agree with the first comment, interesting question indeed! I am not sure what the answer is, but I do work full time and am still breastfeeding my 16+ month old. We have a fantastic BF relationship and I am pregnant with #2, hoping things continue to go well as we venture in to nursing two this summer! I don’t see my son weaning anytime soon and I am thankful for my pump (though will need a new one with #2) and am fortunate to work in a place that supports my desire to pump and my privacy to do so as needed. We still nurse about 5X a day from the time I get home from work until the next morning – my son needs that closeness – so maybe my answer is that whatever comes out of my breasts is best!
Formula from the breast, that’s insanity! So the choice comes down to flesh, or formula, as in flesh is best.
I’d choose breastmilk from a synthetic nipple, so long as it didn’t give me cancer in the process. That formula crap tastes like chemicals, it should be a last resort for that reason alone. Bleccch!!!
~Mothers Who Advocate Good Taste
Hell, I just stopped reading a blog I used to really enjoy because she wrote a godawful post entitled “Breast is best and other lies” about how saying breast is best is mean and hurts people poor punkin feelings.
They did a story on NPR about this too, but I was on my way into work when I heard it starting and couldn’t hear the whole thing. It seemed that the guest was suggesting that perhaps instead of putting so much energy into finding ways to get breastpumps to low income mothers and provide pumping rooms for working moms (all nice things, mind you) PERHAPS we should be finding ways to support MOTHERING, by providing longer maternity leave, flexible hours, etc. And that a big part of why brestfeeding is so good for children is that they get to be with mommy, and when we overlook that we are kind of missing the point and just finding new ways to tell moms HOW they should parent (feed them your breastmilk) instead of SUPPORTING them in their parenting (here’s your kid)..
or something like that.. I only heard like a sentence, but that’s what I chose to walk away from it with..
I AM a mother who fed her baby formula from her breasts (well, through an SNS feeder anyway). I struggled and fought to increase my meager supply, in the end my babies’ feeds were at best 20% breast milk 80% formula. But I would never trade the closeness of nursing my sons for bottle feeding, no matter what magic elixer that bottle could hold.
I have a friend who is training to be a breastfeeding advisor here in the UK; she recently took two classes while her teacher watched, and had to answer questions like ‘is breastmilk as good as normal baby milk?’. I kid you not.
*sigh*
Have been reading since Hathor, by the way, and am really enjoying the new site, and sending you all good wishes for the pregnancy.
I ‘direct breast’ feed my son but not without some fights with my husband who’d grown up with formula feeding all around him and ‘shared’ feeding.
It’s normal for so many women to hand their baby over to someone else so they can have a go feeding it.
For Mum to be the sole giver of food until 6 months is hard for them to accept. But accept they must! (in my case anyway!)
My son is 9 months now, eating finger foods with ease and still being breastfed by me… I have noticed that it’s still just me feeding him now the novelty has worn off!
The other aspect left out is that pumping does not stimulate your supply like “real” breastfeeding, so you are more likely to have supply problems and wean early. I know from personal experience, pumping for a preemie who was originally fed my milk through a tube down her nose because she was too small to suckle. We did eventually get her onto the breast, (which she LOVED), but it took us forever to establish a normal supply and demand routine.
If you HAVE to work, I’d still say that pumped milk is better than formula. However, it would be better if one could just be with one’s baby and feed directly. The current maternity leave laws allow you to take UNPAID time off- which, for many, is impossible. It’ also unbelievably stupid- if a mother is working, it would be because she needs the money. “Allowing” her to take time off but with no pay doesn’t really help anything. What will the family live off of while that money from mommy is missing? (And, ironically, just when they need MORE money because the family is now larger!)
See I think that breast pumps are importnant to all those that whether through non information or just incorret facts think that they cannot breastfeed, I had a problem with my 3rd child I have a stong let down and she just couldn’t take it so I started to pump I pumped exclusively for 5 months! and it allowed me to give the benefit of brestmilk to my daughter. Even though I now know how to handle over active let down, I was not informed properly enough to know that I could have still breastfeed instead of Pumpfed my child.
I think its a learning curve you need to learn to breastfeed and give your milk supply time to properly be established, and then buy the breastpump!.. and if you need to (which with my last child I rarely did) pump, in my experience it takes about 4 weeks or so to establish supply, which is about the amount of time that some working moms get off (maybe a bit longer depending on your company!)
Pumps are important, But should not be relied on I have heard story after story of moms saying that they think their supply is low because they cant pump enough.
Im going all over the place with this topic! there are some moms who pump because they dont want to nurse in public or even in their families houses and therefore pump to avoid “embarrasment”…
Anywho like I said Im all over the place with this I guess my point is, Breastfeeding IS Best, But pumping comes a close second when you cant (or dont want to)Or for fathers to feel more “involved” But I still dont think that moms shuold een try pumping for the first month at least, but sometimes situations demand the need to, and it HAS to be better than formula!!!
I don’t understand why there must be a dichotomy. I breastfed my daughter until she was nearly three years old. I also pumped while I was at work, so that I could maintain my supply and nurse her at the breast while at home and through the night. Yes, I wish I could have stayed home with her longer, but as the primary wage-earner in our home, it simply wasn’t an option.
What would the possible argument in favor of feeding formula from the breast be?!?
Interesting topic. I have had to pump with all my children due to either going to school or working (as a nurse… as a side note I LOVE the idea of having a welcoming work place where you can bring your baby to work with you, but as a nurse I would rather send milk home for my baby then have them at a hospital full of nasty germs.)
I was really grateful for that pump. That being said it would have been so much nicer to actually my babies directly from the “tap”.
There is something, that you can’t get from a bottle when you breastfeed a baby. That skin to skin, the eye contact, the smells, all of that leads to a greater milk supply and a happier baby and mom.
All that being said, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. If you are having difficulty feeding a baby from the breast then pumping is the thing to do, or if you go out of the house to work and it isn’t a “bring your baby to work” sort of place then pumping is great.
I just wish our society, the world we are changing, would get that mothering is so important and stop pushing the issue of working outside the home as the only way a woman can feel worthy and earn money.
Heather in Maine
In a perfect world mothers (and fathers) could be home with their young kids or have the children nearby while they work. This world isn’t perfect. I work outside the home. If I hadn’t pumped I probably would not have kept breastfeeding my kids. (Well, I would have the first one. He didn’t care if there was milk in there or not!) Not only did it supply some/all of their milk needs while I was gone, it helped keep my supply up.
But in answer to the question, I would pick giving a baby formula from my breasts over giving him milk from a bottle. Because to me the closeness of breastfeeding is more important than the milk. The milk is very important too but the mommy is more important than the milk.
I have a pump that I use occasionally when I’m in class (grad school) and am away from my baby. I appreciated Lepore’s point that the politics of the pump are replacing our discussion of real maternity leave reform, and agree that the whole pumping issue is way more of a big deal than it ought to be and tends to complicate rather than ease the breastfeeding relationship. The pump is a tool I’m glad I have access to but is not something I enjoy. I’m glad I get to nurse my baby and get both the health benefits and bonding benefits. However, since so many mothers DO return to work, and since if we get the world breastfeeding the way we HOPE and women may still want to pump after 12 months of leave, I think pumping spaces are great. I pump in bathrooms and vacant offices — it’d be nice to have a lock on the door.
I can’t imagine if I had stinky formula coming out of my breasts! Yuck! That is a tough question.
I am bummed because I have been working at my current job (in a hospital) about 2.5 years. I am pregnant, so I called to see what, if any, benefits or protection I could expect when I took my maternity leave. The answer? NONE. The reason? I work only 20 hours a week. You have to work a certain number of hours in order to get FMLA. I don’t get job protection, I don’t get short-term disability, and I have no paid time off or sick leave. I realize I am just a part-time worker, and therefore I wasn’t expecting much, but my family NEEDS my income right now. I think my boss will be supportive and not fire me after taking 6-8 weeks off. I agree, though, that 12 weeks unpaid FMLA is a moot point because I could never afford to take off that long anyway! We are already saving up to pay out-of-pocket for a homebirth because our state insurance plan doesn’t recognize midwives. So, seeing how the law has hit our family, it brings new light to how badly it sucks. I would rather be staying home with my kids, and one day I know I will be, but for now I will be pumping. At least I have a nice place to do it.
It is all about the language we are using: “best,” “perfect,” and the like. Can anyone really afford “the best” clothing, food, house, etc? Unless you are a high paid celebrity, NO. Yes, breastfeeding is free, and formula costs money, but people get caught up in hearing that it is unattainable for them because of the language.
If we change the words we use and say things like “breastfeeding is normal,” and “formula is artificial,” maybe things will change in society.
Don’t get me wrong on pumps though! I had a 31 week preemie for which I pumped furiously! I developed a love-hate relationship with that thing.
And know many moms that do have to work because their husband’s income is being cut or is not enough in the present economy. But there are moms out there that get a pump from WIC just because they think it is owed to them. A WIC L.C. and dear friend of mine, told me the other day that a mom was overdue returning her pump, and was found that she had weaned her baby months earlier to formula and was just holding onto the pump…
And then there is the ‘DH’ who wants his SAHM wife to pump so he can ‘bond’ with the baby…
I agree it is a very interesting discussion.
We are so many of us very sensitive about our mothering. And we don’t want to make any mothers feel any more guilt than they already do about their choices. All mamas deserve support.
And I also have to admire any mama who is willing to work hard to pump exclusively just to give her baby breastmilk–I find it so much easier to just feed my baby without any equipment (though thank goodness the equipment is there for those who need/want it).
At the same time, it is important to have these discussions. When an individual mama makes a choice, that is her prerogative; when we see disturbing trends in society as whole, we should address them…hopefully without alienating other mothers who are doing what they believe to be the best in their individual circumstances.
In this case, breast is best (for the baby and the mother). And I am so disturbed by the number of comments I’ve seen (elsewhere, of course) about “If you want to breastfeed past one, fine, but why not just put the milk in a bottle?”
It is clear we’ve gotten through with campaigns about breastmilk, but that the message hasn’t extended to include breastfeeding.
And pumping can be a handy tool for someone who needs to or wants to work, but it shouldn’t become a way to avoid the larger issues. I am also concerned that pumps are part of society’s obsessive desire to quantify and control and medicalize what is normal and natural.
I don’t always manage to do what is best–and there’s best in the abstract and best in your specific circumstances–but that does not mean we shouldn’t talk about ideals.
BTW–I just started reading a really interesting blog I think you’d like. She’s very smart/articulate and she posts on this topic, too:
http://blacktating.blogspot.com/
All the mom’s pumping for work and medical reasons are missing the point when they get huffy.
Expressed breastmilk is not breastfeeding. It may be the best option you have. Just like a parapalegic using a wheelchair. It doesn’t make it the best. Just the best you can do in your situation. But why would someone with 2 good legs use a wheelchair?!!
Pumped milk is mixed fore and hind. That means calorie dense and calorie light is mixed. The baby puts their tounge in the wrong position to bottle feed. Their jaw muscles pull on the bones and their face develops improperly. Their swallowing may not be normal. If they have a high need to suck and you give a bottle instead of a pacifier you’re giving calories instead of an empty breast to suckle. As for tooth decay – its called bottle mouth – the milk pools as opposed to direct breastfeeding.
And of course freshness and preservation methods are an issue. And that’s just the babies issues.
Pumping moms need to stop being defensive. I used a bottle when I worked, too. I chose it instead of cup, spoon, finger, SNS etc… I knew the pros and cons and I chose what worked for me. Doesn’t make it best. Its what I did.
I also put the pumped milk into sippy cups once they started using them.
I knew this woman who was a SAHM, was not planning on working at all after her daughter was born. She was planning to nurse her baby.
For whatever reason she got a pump (don’t know why) and decided to pump some milk after her baby was born. She got herself all worked up and lost her confidence because she was “only” able to pump an ounce or two when her baby was a newborn.
Her pediatrician told her she should be able to pump 8 ounces in one sitting, the moron.
I found great info for her at kellymom.com, I gave her the numbers of LLL Leaders, I talked to her about my own experiences, but the only thing she gave any credence to was her pediatrician. She became convinced that her baby was nursing “too often” and wasn’t getting “enough milk.”
I was too heartbroken to ask later but I am almost positive she quit and switched to formula, thanks to her doctor, the crummy “advice” she got from her mother and my MIL (she was a friend of my ILs), and an utter lack of support from her arranged-marriage (yes, this was right here in the US) husband.
I am angry that so many stay-at-home moms are pushed into getting a pump “just in case you will need it, and after all, don’t you think you’ll want breaks from your baby and don’t you want your baby’s father to bond with the baby?”
As if the ONLY way a father could ever bond is by giving bottles. Can’t we expect a little more than that from men?
Disclaimer: I am glad that pumps do exist because there are situations where they truly are needed, but why assume that everyone must have one? They’re pretty easy to find if you do.
My hat goes off to pumping moms. I never bought an electric pump. I got a hand pump just to have handy and figured if I needed a better pump I’d get one. I pumped a little in case of an emergency and my husband tried to get our daughter used to a bottle. We tried at two weeks. She rejected it outright. Tried at a month. Disaster. Tried at two months. Every bottle was wasted. Finally, when we introduced solids, I tried mixing it with rice cereal. She’d eat the rice cereal mixed with water, but not with breastmilk. She would only take milk from my breast. The child nursed for three and a half years and always considered mom’s milk from anything but the breast disgusting. And it would take FOREVER to get, like, two ounces out with that hand pump. It was ridiculous. So anyone who exclusively feeds their child by pumping is like super woman to me.
Having had no choice but to exclusively feed from the breast, it is mighty easy for me to be self-righteous about having fed my child in the absolutely best way possible. I feel that she’s been spared the allergies I had as a child, the orthodontic issues I had, etc. But it was not how I actually planned it. I was simply doing what I needed to do for my family.
I am working two jobs now that she’s over four and a half and I miss her SOOO much. The effects of my breastmilk may be lasting (diabetes and other risks lowered), but the lasting effects of our NURSING relationship on both of us are very obvious already.
Honestly, I don’t think I’d want to parent any other way now that I’ve been through it this way. Sadly, that is a big reason I only have one child. I just can’t afford to do it like that twice.
Of course mothers get defensive about the way they parent. It is SO personal.
In a perfect world, I’d have been able to stay home with my children when they were infants and I’d not have needed to pump ever. I hated every minute of pumping. I much preferred to nurse them. But I don’t live in a perfect world, and I had to go back to work when they were still very young. I pumped so they had my milk at daycare and I nursed them when we were together.
My second was a preemie and I pumped every 2 hours round the clock until she came home. I pumped for my older for daycare until 12 months and nursed her until 4 yrs, 9 months. I pumped for my younger for daycare until 20 months and she’s still nursing at 33 months.
I agree that more support for mothers is needed. Longer PAID maternity leaves, and more support for families would be great. The reality is that currently that doesn’t exist, so moms like me who have to work do the best we can.
Pumping means going out to dinner for an evening with your mother watching the kids, being able to take life-saving medication without having to give formula because there’s plenty stored in the freezer, not freaking out when you get caught in a car and can’t access the baby in the carseat with your breast, and for women with oversupply, donation to another mother in need while easing discomfort. And that’s not including women who have to work at all. There are many times when baby might have to go hungry or get formula if mom doesn’t have a little breast milk stored up in the freezer, and a pump to keep her supply up if it’s more than one feed at a time (like if she goes on a medication she desperately needs but would endanger the baby). Having a few bags of extra milk in the freezer is an amazing thing, and can keep many women from switching to formula.
Every mother should have a pump, know how to use it, and stockpile enough breastmilk to get their baby through a week in case of an emergency. A perfect guarantee that should you ever be an accident, be in the hospital, have to take some medication that isn’t safe anything, you baby will have YOUR milk to drink rather than drinking someone else’s (which may not be available, or may not be as ideal) or formula. It’s such a good guarantee that your baby can always have his or her mother’s milk, no matter what happens to you.
And knowing they can pump and store milk encourages many women to breastfeed, since breastfeeding no longer means they can never leave their baby. It especially encourages women to continue breastfeeding after their maternity leave is up.
I’d give breastmilk in a bottle. I could still cuddle and nuzzle and kiss on my son while bottlefeeding him. Assuming he would take the darn thing. We have over 60 oz. of breastmilk in our freezer because he won’t take the bottle. I’ve started making baby food with it for when he starts solids in the near future.
I can see why pumping moms usually wean early. Pumping sucks! I had a huge oversupply when my son was a newborn and I had to pump just to keep from constantly spraying milk in every direction. Thankfully it’s evened out now because I can’t imagine doing that for any extended period of time.
“If you had to choose one or the other, would you choose to give your baby your breastmilk out of a bottle, or feed your baby formula from your breasts?”
I would definitely give breastmilk out of a bottle. That question is like asking whether someone would like to eat a home-cooked meal on an old chipped plate or eat packaged food shipped from overseas on fine delicate china. Sure the container/package is important, but the most important part is the quality of the food.
I exclusively pumped for one of my children and direct-breastfed the other 3.
Candace
)
what you said was lovely. thank you, and so right on.
i also think, and this is coming from someone who did pump for all 5 of my childen, that we need to not take everything so personally. the fact is nursing a baby has become the same as pumping for them and it is not the same thing. that does not mean you are bad, wrong, a loser, a horrid parent for feeding your child breast milk in a bottle (or formula for that matter) the fact is that feeding your child from the breast is just a better way to do it, if it is at all possible. the crazy thing is, is that it is possible most of the time. yet we make it out to be something that is rarely done, or rare for any mom to do regularly. the fact is we over complicate all parenting.. i thought about this alot before i had my last baby. this is what i figured you needed to have a baby:
two working breast (ideal)
3 dozen cloth diapers and 6 covers (can be fancy or DSQ)unless you EC
a few onesies and footie jammies
some socks
a sling
a queen size bed
two to four loving arms (more if you have them.
that was all.
yet we figure we “need” so much more then we do. so many different contraptions that cost a fortune and make people think that having a baby is so expensive. we make it expensive. it doesn’t have to be.
ok so i went OT.. sorry. LOL
heather in maine
In a society that hates on anyone who doesn’t feed formula in a bottle, I will continue to embrace as my breastfeeding sisters anyone who feeds their baby at their breast no matter the substance OR feeds their baby their milk no matter the delivery route. Breastfeeding as in direct suckling is (or rather should be) of course the normal, default method, but that doesn’t mean the other ways AREN’T also a form of breastfeeding.
I think everyone answering “of course breastmilk in a bottle!” is demonstrating exactly why pumping has become near-ubiquitous for the breastfeeding mother: as someone else said, we’ve gotten the message about the milk part out pretty well, but the BREAST part of breastmilk still needs some advocacy, because it’s not just a matter of what type of plate the food is served on. It’s more like whether one’s food is served fresh, and one gets the textures and the chewing and the freshest flavors, or one’s food is puréed in a blender and fed via a tube. “Just the delivery” IS important.
And again, I think women who exclusively pump, or pump for work, are breastfeeders and are goddesses, just as I think mothers who SNS formula are breastfeeders and goddesses; they are going against the cultural grain, risking ridicule, without even the ease of use those of us who breastfeed the default way get.
To the person advocating pumping “just in case”: no thank you. You are welcome to live your life that way if you like, and you are right that in very rare circumstances it may be beneficial, but just like “just in case” hospital birth (as opposed to medically-indicated hospital birth), it introduces problems more often than it is able to avert — see the above anecdotes on pumping leading to the cesation of nursing for examples. For people who need to have that JIC stuff there in order to be comfortable, it may be worth it, but in many of us it merely introduces stress as well as risk.
I did pump for a month or two: to donate milk to a BFAR goddess who, by feeding donated milk with an SNS, pumping to increase her supply and to SNS later, and nursed direct even when she was “dry”, was most definitely breastfeeding.
Oh, and Heather Hawkes: the jamies and onsies are totally optional. It’s all about the skin-to-skin time.
(I will admit the heating bill went up the spring that Naked Baby was born, but it was well worth it to be able to lounge around au natural with him–and not have to do constant laundry from all the spit up! Helped a bunch with the EC, too.)
I go with formula from a breast. Not every baby can have breastmilk (they tried with me, but my little body couldn’t handle more than a little bit of breastmilk a day, and needed the soy formula to, well, live), but the baby would still have the breast even without the milk.
I would choose breastmilk from a bottle, as I could still have lots of skin to skin contact and offer the breast for comfort. I would not wish to give formula at all, be it from my breast or otherwise.
However I completely disagree with Basiorana, IF I had ever found I could not breastfeed for a day or a week (and my baby was under 12 months), I would appeal to every single breastfeeding mother I know and ask them to either breastfeed my baby or donate some milk. My opinion, yes, but it’s a logical one. Even a few days of bottlefeeding can cause a young baby to have issues latching and suckling at the breast, which is why I would prefer a friend to nurse my baby directly should I temporarily be unable to nurse myself, and some babies, especially over 3 months, do not take to bottles unless they have had them regularly.
So if I found myself in that situation, my first (preferred) alternative would be directly nursing at another mother’s breast, then would be donated milk via some other feeding method (bottle/dropper/cup etc).
One thing no one has touched on is the huge drain on resources and the environment that bottles (mostly plastic!) and pumps have.
Nursing from the breast is the most environmentally friendly way of feeding.
Anyway, the point is not that pumping mothers should feel bad, but that the number of mothers who do pump (exclusively or just regularly) seems to be rather more than the number who actually need to due to work commitments etc.
I think the message is, if you don’t actually have to, then don’t. (Or “Why are so many women being led to believe the pump is neccessary, or essential?”) And of course, as others have said, the number of mothers needing to pump would be dramatically less if the US (and to some extent other countries) realised the importance of mothering and made it law for all female employees to be entitled to a much longer period of paid maternity leave, or, rather, bringing the cost of living down so mothers weren’t forced to supplement the family income just to live, by going back to work whilst their children are still babies.
I would always pump if it were to donate to other babies, however I have not needed to pump or give my daughter (now 2yrs 3 months and still nursing) a bottle. I have however hand expressed (between 2 and 4ozs) and left it in a cup, on several occasions from about 6 months.
I think that fathers are being left out of the equation a bit. Pumping when the mother returns to work also gives the father a chance to feed the baby. Yes, I’d rather be there breastfeeding, but when I can’t it’s a great opportunity for him to feed the baby.
I don’t understand why someone would exclusively pump, that seems very odd to me. I can understand pumping when returning to work, but what about at night?
I got a very generous amount of PAID time off from work (6 months!) and when I did go back I pumped a bit. However, my husband also brought our son to work so I could breastfeed during lunch every day.