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Dearest reader of my blog,
Here’s a few things that I forgot about having a baby.
How to one-handed type, at least well, without complaining bitterly.
That anything below the knees (meaning everything) has to be picked up with your toes because you’re holding the baby.
Baby acne.
The nighttime grunting sounds that mean “I’m getting hungry, but I’m still asleep mostly, and if you put your breast right here, and then remind me how to open my mouth, and then urge me to latch on, I would be ever thankful.
and how that cry makes you ache.
I hope your days are well, mine are wondrous…
Sincerely yours, and xox, and love, and all of that,
Heather
You did it! Congratulations! A friend of mine who had her 3rd baby at home in mid-April was totally nervous about having 3 kids, wondering if she’d be able to do it – but she is! Although I had to intervene when she tried to cut a tomato with one hand today. LOL
Was your breast really exposed for hours or was that just for humor’s sake?
Still loving my 20 month old so I’m still there, except the 1 handed typing, it’s no handed typing here as she’s always trying to kick the hand or keyboard or book or whatever. congrats on your new man yet again!
Fantastic! I know what you mean about toes. Winter is just starting here which means I’ll be wearing slippers and feeling handicap for months. I mean, I don’t want to put the baby down so I can pick things up – he might get cold.
oh yes, the going out the first time with everyone. you don’t hold back… everything all in one day!?
heather in maine
Hoooboy, can I relate to that! Things pile up and you decide “Well, since I’m going out, I may as well take care of all of it at once!” But it’s not pretty, is it? LOL!
Congrats on handling it with only a little poo, sweat, and tears!
lol it’s even harder with twins, i have daddy hold one while i hold the other, so we both operate one-handed.
hey mama, not sure if you’ve seen this, http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/16/AR2006061601766.html
i read an was like, WTF?
Dearest Aditi,
I hadn’t seen this article, but I have followed Ms. Hirshman for a while…here’s some of the comics (I think she may be one of the only people who actually have their name ON a comic…)
http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2006/03/06/linda-hirshman-and-the-shakespearean-insulter/
http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2006/03/06/linda-hirshman/
http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2006/09/05/linda-hirshman-again/
http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2006/09/08/power-struggle/
http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2006/09/05/immoral/
Sincerely yours,
Heather aka Hathor aka Mama
Aditi, I just read that and wow is that woman self-important and totally wrong. (sarcasm to follow) Yeah, we “tired… scared… beleaguered, overworked” employed mothers are passing around her words about how we are doing things the right way. Because really, the best thing for humanity and women everywhere is to neglect the future and focus on getting bigger paychecks. That’s what’s best for our daughters.
My career is in education and my current full time job is in early childhood. So this is coming from a working mother. Parenting IS the most important job, and the more families that can find ways to stay together and make a living at the same time, the better. It’s OK to chose to work out of the home even if you don’t have to. It’s ok for a family to make sacrifices for one member’s career. But honestly that’s about as far as I would go there. To suggest that women are obligated to outsource the raising of their children and delegate it to.. what, someone less? Less intelligent? Worth less? Who? I’d like to know who she thinks SHOULD be raising our future. And, knowing that she thinks this is not exactly a noble or impressive task, what do these lesser people think of this suggestion? My mother started her own business when I was young so she could make money and still be with us when we got out of school. She’s still running that business and has many employees. It’s a house cleaning business. So I guess my child comes from a long line of people that do unimportant things for a living. Just because there are jobs like ours doesn’t mean that folks shouldn’t do some of it themselves.
Great post! I’ve become quite the “master” of one-handed typing and picking up things with my toes.
Yes, these are certainly wondrous times. I love having a baby in the house again.
She is not Communist China & I am not Tibet. I am not oppressed by my choice to stay home & be with my son & I am not in need of liberation. I have never, in fact, felt more free.
I’m right there with you on things you forget about having a baby… My daughter just turned 7 weeks old on Thursday and there are lots of things – both good and bad – that I had forgotten about raising an infant. The two most recent things I had forgotten: sleepless nights suck a lot harder than I remember. I never forgot that they sucked, but how bad they *really* are? Yeah, that little nugget slipped my mind… The other thing I had forgotten (semi-forgotten, I guess): baby’s first laughs are magical. Way magical. Again, I hadn’t really forgotten this, just the extent to which it is true. Kairi has just started laughing – she mostly only does it in her sleep – and I literally drop what I’m doing so I can pay super close attention.
And as for this woman…. It’s disappointing that there are still women who are willing to oppress (or attempt to) other women into not doing what they want. I understand that a lot of feminists believe that the only way to become liberated and free is to join the workforce and prove to the men that we can hang just as well as they can – and don’t get me wrong, that’s a valid point to be made. But I think that what feminism is really about is being liberated enough to be able to make your own choices. I am free enough to be able to say that I don’t want to work. I want to stay home with my girls and teach them that princesses save themselves and all that… So what if my *man* is supporting us? We’re lucky that he makes enough money that I can stay at home.
Ugh. It’s just wholly disappointing. It’s certainly a step in the wrong direction.
I also forgot a bunch of things about a baby with #2. The sleep really becomes an issue, because with #1 it was relatively easy to catch up on that lost sleep- I just slept while she slept. With #2, baby’s naptime became 1-1 time for child #1. Which was good, because #1 needed that time… but it was rough on me!
The first time I went out with both, I was terrified… but not as terrified as my husband the first time I left him home with both!
I love the exposed breast!! This happened to me the other day. I was out trying to figure out where an off leash dog belonged and apparently my rubbing of him dislodged my nursing opening… Oops! Hopefully I didn’t give the neighborhood boy too big a show!
And today my eldest (2 1/2) threw up in the car (no change of clothes with me aside from shorts in case of a potty accident, although it was NOT warm enough for shorts… ) thankfully I was meeting another mom who happened to have a size appropriate change of clothes. I was totally going to wash her up with a wipe and send her on her way!
Later in the day the baby apparently spit up as well… I noticed baby spit up on the chair I was standing next to and thought… hmmm that’s odd, I’m not with any other little babies. Who spit up? Right… the baby in my arms is covered in spit up! Such a happy baby, spitting up or not, thankfully!
Your blog is excellent! Keep up the great work.
Hello!
I am enjoying your work now more than ever…as we had babies within weeks of each other (my daughter was born march 24th,09)…and your topics are very timely for me!!!! This post had me laughing with joy. You really hit it on the nail. Thanks so much for sharing your love, your art, your humor, yourself.
Althuogh I am a mere amateur with just two (I bow in awe to you mamas with larger broods), I did find I mastered “The Tree” position to balance the nursing baby while fixing my daughter her breakfast, etc.
A friend (with 4 kids) said to me once that it’s always easier with one less; that it doesn’t even matter which one is missing from the mix, just having one fewer suddenly makes everything feel so much easier. “So, when I have all four of them,” he told me, “I like to pretend I actually have FIVE kids.” LOL