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16 comments to Wasting My Life In Conversation (#2) |
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Wasting My Life In Conversation (#2)16 comments to Wasting My Life In Conversation (#2) |
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Copyright © 2010 Mama is… - All Rights Reserved Bad Behavior has blocked 305 access attempts in the last 7 days. |
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LOL – I guess *technically* the government pays me $177/mo to have a child, so I’m working, right??
I love this series – how does this thinking make ANY sense??
maybe if you went to college for parenting. then you could be legitimate. You know a piece of a paper that says you’re qualified? I mean, obvious those are the people who should be taking care of YOUR littles!–please note snarky attitude.
I went to college, got a BA in Anthropology, so I guess I am using my degree…as a Researcher in an American home…and my (occasional) Blog would be my “published work,” right? heehee
Yeah I think there is a Minimum hourly salary to be considered a “professional” lol!
LOVED the symphony orchestra!
i am loving this group of comics too. if only we could get some real answers!
heather in maine
You should hear what they say about us single moms staying at home with our children.
I guess I’m only wasting half of my life then…because I take care of my kids and others. I pretty much got this look of…oh, your going to stay home uh…when I quit my banking career to stay home and love my kids. Reminds me of the John Lennon song…watching the wheels…when he says…people think I ‘m crazy doin what I’m doin, they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin…
I’m loving the comments as much as the comics. Every comment on the last comic had wonderful points. I almost responded to several. I just can’t resist chiming in again and again even though I have nothing to argue with. Its just such a good conversation.
I think we CAN get some real answers. I think feminism just needs to keep evolving. It doesn’t just seem to be about choices. There’s a strong sense of social responsibility. Which is good, for the most part.
Some seem to think that educated women have an obligation to be “out there,” maintaining a presence in the work force and in politics in order to protect all women from losing their hold on the rights they’ve worked so hard for. Just as the more we breastfeed in public the more normal it becomes, the more we see females in non-traditional roles, the more normal it becomes (and I love seeing more men in non-traditional roles lately, btw. More men should be nurses!) Plus these areas, such as genetic engineering, will benefit from diversity – from having females and minorities working in those fields.
But what good does it do if we don’t balance that with the more micro areas of social responsibility, like reducing our own carbon footprints.. keeping ourselves and our families mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy.. bonding with our children.. at the very least picking them up from day care on TIME.. To paraphrase Jesus: Pull the plank out of your own eye before getting the piece of dust out of your neighbor’s.
The truth is that it’s not having unlimited choices that makes a person happy (just watch your kids when you give them too many toys at once). It’s having something bigger than yourself to throw your soul into. It’s about using your skills and talents to their fullest potential. Its about getting totally absorbed in your passion. And that could never involve a one-size-fits-all solution.
I’m grateful to feminism. I consider myself one. But I know it’s not FINISHED. It needs to keep evolving. It’s not perfect yet.
I think having more “stay-at-home dads” will help things a little. This opens the conversation up and makes it an even bigger picture. This isn’t just a woman’s issue. It’s a family issue. Even if you don’t have children, you may have aging parents or a disabled sibling that need to take priority.
I don’t think this is about what we get paid to do. I think that the cost of living is too high for most people to really do what they want to do. And its a shame because frankly, we don’t NEED much more stuff.. there isn’t really that much more work to be done out there. Only half of the adult population, in my opinion, really needs to be working outside the home forty hours a week in order to keep things maintained and progressing. But how cool would it be if we could all work twenty hours a week instead?
Shorter work weeks. Universal health care. The return of things like home economics in school (both boys AND girls need to learn how to sew and budget, and these things need to be given the same value as algebra – I’m a fan of John Dewey). Smaller houses. Stronger local economies. Improved mass transit. These are the things that will give us all the freedom to care for our families and pursue our passions and make a real difference in the world. Right now, many don’t work to make the world a better place. Many work to pay off credit cards and mortgages. I don’t think that is what feminism was meant to be.
I love where this series is going… can’t wait for more! I’m sure your hubby would ask questions about if HE stayed home… would HE be wasting his life?
My favorite comment on this subject comes from my dad in reference to my mom:
“I felt happy when I came home to a messy house because it meant that my children had the full attention of a Phi Beta Kappa all day long.”
Nope, a piece of paper stating my qualification won’t work. I have a teaching degree from a University. We as a family chose to homeschool. I still get a load of crap from my mother that I can’t homeschool my children. My degree is in English, so I am not qualified to teach math or science, etc. LOL… You are just never good enough… sigh.
I am glad my kids score above their level in evaluations, otherwise I would seriously doubt myself
Julie love what you are saying!
LogantheGirl:
heather in maine
It’s a lot more efficient for society for one woman to watch the (older) children of five women while the other four work than for five women to stay at home. Since women working tends to decrease poverty rates overall, and particularly poverty that affects children, the argument that women should work is often addressed at impoverished families who we know from detailed study would be a lot better off with the mother as a breadwinner than the father (who, in those situations, is more likely to take risks with the money than the mother). It’s not really as applicable to middle-class people, or any situation where another method is working out.
My great question– why can’t MEN watch the children, if they are past breastfeeding??? It’s not moms vs. daycare women, dads should be considered as a valid parent too!
I’m under the impression that I do get paid
I mean I have full health and dental, a car and gas, and expense account. I also some how make enough to be living in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. I may not get a paper paycheck but I seem to be doing really well. The trick was in finding a great employer! My husband who agreed that this was a job worth my doing 
Lisa – mom to 3 great kids
I am loving this series as well. I just wanted to second LisaB’s comment. . .I feel exactly the same way–I get benefits, a monthly budget and transportation. However, that sense of gratitude is mixed with a healthy dose of liberal guilt. At least we enjoy the privileges of race, class, heterosexism, etc. I feel for the single moms, parents who don’t make a living wage, and others who may not have the same privilege and have to make much tougher choices than mine because their labor isn’t valued as highly as my husbands, or those who don’t have the legal right to enjoy the privilege of marriage in our legal system. There also needs to be a discussion somewhere in here about the value of women’s labor. We are talking about the value of housework, and also the low value placed on that when others (housekeepers and child care providers) do the work, but there is also a piece of this situation surrounding downward pressure on women’s wages outside the home, which has been a real problem in the last decade or so. It’s all great to say, whoever WANTS to stay home should, and as a nursing mama, I WANT to be with my children all the time, but at the same time, the economic reality is my husband’s earning power is and probably will always be higher than mine. Because he’s a man. And now that I’m staying home during my peak earning years, the gap is only increasing. Any dreams he had of being a stay-at-home dad after our children are finished nursing are being slowly drained away as he sees his social security and retirement statements increase, and mine. . .are pretty much nonexistent. If I went back to work full-time right now I could MAYBE pull down about 50% of his current income. So until women are payed equally for equal labor, and equally for equivalent labor (why is it a child care provider is paid so much less than, say, a city road worker filling potholes?)I think the whole thing about being a one-income household will be 90% of the time a Dad-income household. And it only remains an option for some who fall into a hetero-marriage, middle-class sort of reality.
Our family IS paying us: in the enrichment of our souls. It’s impossible to quantify.
When I think of what I left behind in corporate… which is like, hardly ever, I breathe a sigh of relief that it’s behind me. Sure, I worked with some inspiring people – but mostly not. I did inspiring, meaningful work in clinical research- but mostly, not. I had a fabulous wardrobe. Money to spend. But…
It just doesn’t compare to what I have now. Half the income, yes. But, the love/bonding/fun/investment is priceless.
I’ve always felt like raising my children is my role. Not something I want to delegate.
Anywat, I’m really enjoying these comics and the comments, too. Bottom line is… those who question our choice to be SAHMs/breastfeeding/attached parenting advocates are most often feeling guilty about their own choices. So brush their projection off. But still, it IS annoying!!
Peace out!
Eileen.